Damn you syndicated TV

I'll be the first one to admit that I watch a lot of TV. And not the PBS-kind. I watch a hefty dose of VH1 and Bravo, TLC, Style, WE, E!, Comedy Central, um, Food Network & MTV(the regular one, not even M2). I'm not proud. As a matter of fact, I feel pretty horrified when I really think about what I'm watching (i.e. Laguna Beach. Jesus Christ, I hate those bitches). On one level, it's just fun, trashy tv, no problem. But there is a problem! These channels dull my thinking skills. I'm bewitched by their melodrama, the slick countdowns and best-of/worst-of lists that are perfectly synched with soundbites and pop music. Entertaining and funny at best (ex. VH1's Best Week Ever), infuriating and absurd at their worst (VH1's I love the 80's-3D). And don't get me started on reality TV. Four hours can slip away from you like (insert clever similie here, I can't think of one thanks to TV).

Syndicated TV is the real enemy what with their regular, daily schedule. I can watch Seinfeld for a total of three hours a day on different channels and at different times. I was a loyal Seinfeld viewer when the show was still new, yet I still try to catch the evening's episodes. I am about at the point where I can quote particular scenes (G. and I are amazed at how the show is STILL funny after all these years--and viewings). Thanks to syndicated TV, G. and I worked through several seasons of That 70's Show, King of Queens, Just Shoot Me, Will and Grace, and the Simpsons. And Felicity (just me, not G. He doesn't like that the characters whisper). The new show on the syndicated circuit is Sex and the City. Like Seinfeld, I can catch Sex and the City a couple of times a day. I don't like the show or the characters per se (actually I feel wicked glee whenever something humiliating happens to them, which is often). Whatever the case, I'm hooked, I'm hooked dammnit!

Maybe by publicly recognizing this problem, I will empower myself to press the off button and only turn it on for Lost. And Gilmore Girls. And American Dad/Family Guy. But that's it.