Holidays, Shmallidays

One short class this evening stands between me and the Thanksgiving holiday. Thanksgiving is mostly fun because you get to eat delicious, once-a-year dishes (Dad's stuffing! oh Dad's stuffing, how I miss you during the year. And pie--don't get me started on pie.). Thanksgiving also means spending time with family, and you don't have to buy any gifts--the actual best part about the day and what, in my opinion, totally ruins Christmas. Lately, Thanksgiving and Christmas are getting trickier, specifically dividing up time between my family and G's. Delicate negotiations must take place so that nobody is offended or feels left out. I have to take into consideration my family, my sister's in-laws (not to mention my brother-in-law's sister's husband's family), G's family and now that his two sisters have boyfriends, the boyfriend's families. Yikes--way too complicated. The negotiations started off courteous enough, but soon declined into hurt feelings and crying (no surprise, I'm a huge crier).

The most memorable Thanksgiving G. and I spent together was in Albuquerque two years ago. We were totally stressed over our end-of-the-semester research papers and presentations. We weren't in any shape to deal with the drive home, staying in separate places, and the inevitable argument over where to spend Thanksgiving, so we made the big decision to stay in Albuquerque for the holiday break. Everybody in El Paso was disappointed; G and I understood their disappointment and were sad, too. At the same time, however, it was a big relief not to deal with a complicated Thanksgiving. I made a small turkey (my first) and all the expected fixings. We cleared off the stacks of notebooks and books from the table and used a tablecloth and lit candles--a special moment for G. and me, simple and true.

We worked out this year's arrangement after much back and forth over the course of an afternoon. We're okay again, all is well. Holidays are oftentimes such fragile days, so carefully orchestrated to be special moments. Beautiful, glowy, Hallmark-experiences emerge if executed as planned. If conditions aren't just right for any old reason: food burns, cranky kids, annoying family members, boring TV, the holidays tarnish so quickly. Maybe it's easier to navigate when you aren't dealing with so many people. Thanksgiving and Christmas were perfect when I was younger with my parents, and sister. Well, it will never be just the four of us again (and I wouldn't want it that way), so I have to learn how to finesse my way through late November and December. Good luck to me--and to all of you gearing up for the holidays.

I should have canceled today's class; nobody is going to show up.