Serenity Now

I'm still recovering from my weekend funk. This particular funk began when I woke up Sunday morning, hungry, headachy, and pissed about oversleeping. The rest of the day just contributed to the doldrums.

In trying to overcome this monster, I am struck by how sensitive I've become. If something--or someone--doesn't respond to me in an expected way, I automatically interpret it as hostility or indifference that is aimed specifically at ME. Here are some examples:

• What? I can't detect even a note of excitement about having dinner with me next week.
• Why don't you seem interested in my spring class schedule? Take your eyes off the TV for chrissakes.
• I'm offering to make you a special project and all you can tell me is that you don't have any place to put a tea towel?

My happiness books advise me not to take everything personally. Everybody is just trying to be happy, even as they ever-so-politely crap all over you. Since I can't change it, I need to accept it and move on with grace. The "moving on with grace" is tougher than it sounds.

By the way, I really am not one to blame my behavior on PMS, yet I've tracked whenever this kind of sensitive thinking pops into my head and it occurs more often before my period--which, concisely, sucks. Man, I hate, hate, hate to confirm every jerk-asshole's assumption that cranky women are "on their period." It's more complicated than that!

I try to do the "moving on with grace" part in my head, but thinking that much about me makes me feel off-kilter. Hence the blog. Yet,I'm also hesitant to mention anything too intimate for fear of alienating my two readers. So, two readers, forgive the diversion.

Today is a very long day, better get started.