I feel overload coming on...

Sundays are busy days for me. I've usually put off a bunch of work and other chores on Friday and Saturday and have to make them all up on Sunday. My to-do list is long and imposing--faced with such a list normally results in overload; in that case, I retreat to the sofa and try not to look at my desk.

G. started the master's program in Spanish a couple of weeks ago and we went to a department party last night. As the "spouse," I didn't have much to say. The party-goers were very friendly and the food was delicious (especially those Argentine empanadas). I felt a bit intimidated because my Spanish is a horrible, muddled mess. Reponses sound perfect in my head, yet somehow turn into a sputtering of words and phrases that barely resemble the articulate group of words I had imagined. I have trouble controlling the volume of my voice, too, so it either comes out too softly or very loudly to emphasize my mispronounciations (mispronounciations stemming from an inability to roll my r's and a buried southern accent). I try to be lighthearted about the whole thing, but my complete lack of language skills shames me. And I live in El Paso for christ's sake!!!

I haven't worked past this issue. It sits patiently alongside other personal issues in a neat row, waiting to emerge during some late night I can't sleep, in a dressing room as I tug at clothes to make them fit, after devouring a cakey-fudgey brownie, or just driving home after class.