There's No Crying in Yoga

My sister and I signed up for Pilates and Yoga classes this summer. Pilates is twice a week, yoga on Saturday mornings. I like both, but I think I like Pilates a little more. Anyway, years ago, I found a great yoga instructor and began practicing regularly at her studio. This was during my skinny-fat stage. I'm not sure if that had any influence on the fact that I was actually pretty good at the positions and flexibility and balance. But then I moved out-of-town and I really disliked the new teacher who (I swear) had an attitude.

Well, you all know about me and my body issues (perhaps a little too much). So getting back into yoga after so long is challenging because I am not at the same level as before. Problem is, I am not a patient person in particular situations, nor do I easily give up just because of a little muscle pain. Last week, I was sore at that part of the leg/thigh where it meets the lower stomach (alright, on me, the lower gut) due to this weird hip-flexor movements in Pilates. I was dealing with the soreness, not complaining or anything. Unfortunately, the yoga instructor decided to focus on sitting positions (straight back, thumbs touching at lower back, stomach in, chest out, legs straight in front of you, foot flexed, knees down), just the kind of positions that stressed my already-stressed thighs. My frustration level grew along with the burning feeling. Contributing to that frustration was my teacher who made no mention of modifications for the position (to make it a little easier) and took her sweet time working the room making corrections while everyone else held on for dear life. I purposely settled myself on the side of the group so I wouldn't feel competitive with anybody. Other people weren't the problem. It was my stubborn brain competing with my body--a relationship already fraught with resentment and dislike. Thirty minutes of standoff between my brain saying DO IT and my body saying LEAVE ME ALONE.

I can't throw a ball, I absolutely hate running, I will never, ever opt for exercise over a nap. Yet I'm realizing that exercising is not all about physical abilities. Hmm, turns out, I'm not so great with the mental part either.

Luckily, with each moment of discomfort came an inkling of relief as the muscles loosened. And, the soreness was completely gone a few hours after the class. AND today's class was the first time where I felt challenged, but not defeated.

Maybe my brain and body agreed to a cease-fire and are one step closer to peace.