Do you know what you really look like?

Once upon a time, oh, about four years ago, I was "skinny-fat." Meaning I was relatively thin, wore small sizes, but I also didn't have much of a figure, no muscle tone, did not exercise, and ate whatever I wanted. The skinny-fat status changed after the Summer of Beer (2001) segued into a long, unhealthy fascination with fast food (2002-2006). My level of concern ("concern" is a nice term, it's more like horror) rose along with my weight. One of the worst feelings in the world is when your beloved, broken-in jeans stop fitting. Multiply that feeling with t-shirts, blouses, sweaters, skirts, shorts at home and (gasp) in dressing rooms with bad lighting. Blah.

Oddly enough, my mental body image didn't really change after the twenty or so pounds were added. So it's like I never internalized the changes my body went through. I only recently (like last December) accepted the fact that I have a rather largish bottom (and only after a brutally blunt tia called me--oh this is so embarrassing--nalgonas).

I know it's no surprise that countless American women suffer from a warped body-image. It's a BIG surprise to me that I'm one of them! I'm pretty "with it" on feminist issues. I'm fully aware of how the media distorts and misrepresents women's bodies--I minored in women's studies, for chrissakes'! In short, I should know better.

I think most people don't know what they really look like. It's pretty easy to overlook that bulge in the mirror or ignore that feeling of tightness from clothes (the first hint, really, to either lose a little or move up in size). Maybe that's why so many people dress so badly. One of the quick fixes on TLC's What Not to Wear is for people to chose clothes for their body type. That's hard to do if you don't know what your body type is in the first place. Helps explain the "muffin top" phenomenon.

So just the other day, I found this website while reading a Washington Post article about swimsuits http://www.myvirtualmodel.com/ You plug in your measurements and height, even chose your hairstyle and skintone and wa-la! a virtual model. It's you, or at least pretty close to you. G.'s said my model was accurate. It's not as bad as I had feared, but it also wasn't the image in my head. For example, I thought I had longer legs. Guess not.

As many qualms as I have about this body o'mine, I wouldn't go back to skinny-fat. I'm healthier now: eat less meat, more organic stuff and whole grains, stopped smoking, curbed the drinking. Even my half-ass exercise routine is better than absolutely no exercise routine. It's time to accept Me-Now and put Me-Then away