The System, meet The Regimen

Everybody can breathe a sigh of relief. The dentist's visit actually went well!! I am so surprised and (honestly) fucking relieved.

I managed to preserve my sanity by not predicting how many horrible, expensive procedures the dentist would demand (except for about 20 minutes the night before). I'm not completely off the hook concerning my teeth. My dentist introduced me to a strict Regimen. The Regimen includes: flossing all teeth (takes me a long time and I really only do the back teeth); Stim-u-dent the front teeth (Stim-u-dents are glorified toothpicks); brush with Sonicare (2 minutes); rinse with hydrogen peroxide (a gross soapy and fizzy 30 seconds, although not so bad if you mix with Listerine); use Microjet (plastic syringe type contraption) to shoot peroxide towards the wisdom molars and gumline. Last night, the Regimen took me 10 minutes (G. contests this estimate, but this isn't his blog, so boo).

The Regimen is a bit of a drag, to be honest. But I can (grudgingly) admit that it's better than having more serious dental problems down the road. The Regimen is definitely, infinitely better than having to fork over $2,000 for dental work.

So, loyal readers, learn from me! Don't dwell and stress about stuff that might or might not happen (in other words, before freaking out, wait for the end of the story.) And take care of your teeth, dammnit! Avoid sweets and soda!

Yeah, as for that last piece of advice...G. and I celebrated my news by consuming a big ol' piece of chocolate cake.