I just finished a book and listened to three super cds and watched an awesome soccer documentary. And I just HAVE to tell you about them all.

Once in a Lifetime is perfect documentary to watch in light of the recent uproar over Beckham and MLS. The doc tells the story of the amazing and unexpected success of the New York Cosmos. The Cosmos were part of the North American Soccer League who floundered until they signed up Pele and a bunch of other well-known European soccer players. In their prime, the late 70's and early 80's, the Cosmos filled up Giants stadium to capacity with screaming, soccer-lovin' AMERICANS. So Americans will watch soccer if the likes of Pele, Franz Benckenbauer, Carlos Alberto, and Giorgio Chinaglia play. Well, who wouldn't?! Unfortunately, it took a lot of money to bring those players over, so the NASL eventually went caput. Mismanagement and overexpansion hurt them, too. Hopefully, MLS won't make the same mistakes.

Now on to music, I've been listening to three super cds--Lilly Allen whose lyrics are quite cheeky and Los Abandoned and Go Betty Go, both punk bands from LA. The last two have awesome Latina singers. The songs are catchy and great lyrics, too! I don't ever buy CDS--truth be told, I'm cheap when it comes to purchasing cds. I don't download either (legally or otherwise), so it is a big deal for me to shell out the money but it pays off when I love the music.

Finally, I finished the fourth installment of the Maisie Dobbs mystery series. I don't read mysteries, but this series is based in London during the interwar years. Maisie has a whole backstory involving class issues (humble background, she was "in service" when her employer discovered she was brillliant and sent her off to school) and World War I's legacy on the British (Maisie was a nurse in France where she was injured. Her fiance was also in the war, but never recovered from his injuries and shell-shock). She is also struggling to be an independent woman balancing career and a personal life and her lingering war trauma. All of her cases highlight some aspect of how World War I basically destroyed a generation. Although it may sound a little history nerd-ish, they are excellent novels with mysteries.

So I've left the wallowing aside for a bit--Valentine's Day chocolate helped.

I am blob, hear me burp

I've felt so sluggish this week--like really bad. It must be the food I've been mindlessly eating. These past couple of days, no, to be honest, it's been a couple of weeks, that I've indulged in the lower end of popular cuisine and desserts. Once my body gets used to eating food I didn't cook, it starts to crave it. Or I get lazy and don't want to eat anything I have to assemble. What, fresh foods in the fridge?? Yeah, HA, HA. Foolishly, I tried cooking a delicious homemade pizza on Monday. It burned. Gabe brought home fast food.

Now, I'm being punished by feeling absolutely disgusting.

Let's see what I can blame for this mood. There are the usual culprits: hormones (I am PMSing and it hit me hard this time), stupid people, angst that I'm not living up to my potential. And here's a new one: winter weather (I'm sure anyone reading this from the Midwest and East coast would like to strangle me).

Spending a couple of hours laying on the couch like a beached whale hasn't improved the mood. I know saner minds would recommend working out, but too many (legitimate) chores and appointments have kept me from the elliptical machine. Friday and Saturday are out, too, because I'm judging History Day exhibits. To be honest, I'm not quite sure what that entails--fingers crossed that seeing a group of eager, ambitious, young high school students doesn't send me straight towards a milanesa torta (so goddamn good, yet so NOT appropriate right now).

Babies

I got surprise news yesterday from one of my closest friends. We haven't lived in the same city for about five years now. For being old, close friends, we don't often talk or email. Maybe once a month a quick email or phone call to catch up on things. Still, she is one of my go-to people for instant reassurances, as a voice of reason, and for good 'ol cattiness and gossip.

And now she's pregnant. First time and slightly unexpected.

That news isn't shocking in the old-fashioned way--she's married a year, they dated and lived together close to nine years before that. It's just...wow. For me, this is a big moment, this is an actual child that will belong to somebody I stayed up drinking with until 6 am only a month ago. This is somebody who I can cite multiple examples of irresponsible behavior. Don't get me wrong, she is going to be a really great mom and the baby is going to be beautiful (sometimes they aren't, even though you aren't supposed to admit that).

Like typical me, I can't help but feel a tinge of I'm-not-sure-what. It feels a little sad, a bit wistful. This news comes along with my sister's first pregnancy. There ARE more reasons for my mild melancholy, lest you think I'm longing for a little bundle of my own. This year marks my high school graduation's ten year reunion; I'm turning 29 in November; rather than contemplating life insurance, I'm filling out FAFSA and going back to school; and my parents have become Old People*. So, I'm fighting something that isn't new for me--considering what I am doing compared to what I should be doing at this age, in this stage.

I've always had trouble living and enjoying the Now. It usually is a matter of worrying about the future, dwelling on mistakes, stressing about the details, preparing myself for the upsets. Yet something that is so wonderful as new babies just makes me want to sob. Am I being too sentimental (car commercials have been known to make me cry), or is it ok to allow myself to feel deeply instead of putting it away? Or is it all hormonal??? (I'm partially kidding about the last one).

*Characterized by complaints, grumpiness, cheapness, and always feeling cold (among other things).