Filo vs. Splenda, round 15

Yesterday's evening walk with Filomena started uneventfully. Filo gets so excited when its time for her walk. She watches G. and I like a hawk--following our every movement, especially when it looks like we're headed towards the closet where we keep the leash. At that point, she bursts into action and speeds around the living room. She can run really really fast and gets this glassy look in her eyes like she's no longer a domesticated dog. Instead she's reverted back to her feral state (try visualizing herds of feral bichon frises--it's pretty ridiculous). On the flip side, G. and I act out Three Stooges routines as we try to corner her for a long enough time to put the leash on (I think I'm Moe. It's not a perfect fit, but I'm a little bossy. G. is definitely not Curly, so let's say he's Larry.) Finally, we wrangle her to the floor, attach the leash, and out the door where she always takes a quick pee then strains against the leash as if saying, "HURRYUP! Theressomuchtosee, Iwanttogonow!" Has anybody watched a dog walk from behind? Filo's got the cutest little puppy nalgas that sway from side to side as she walks and skips ahead of us. Just another element that makes her the cutest dog ever.

There was a little breeze in the air and G. and I were in good spirits as we headed towards the mailbox. We turned a corner and there she was: Filo's nemesis, Splenda (some names have been changed to protect the innocent). We first met Splenda in January. She's a tan colored Chihuahua, but with really long legs like deer legs. Her owner doesn't put her on a leash, but it's not like Splenda's the type to charge anybody. Instead, she just stares at you like you're the one with really long deer legs. Splenda is also skinny and bony. Not really the type of dog who would be a good snuggler. Filo definitely had the advantage over Splenda when they first saw one another. Filo took the initiative and would usually bat Splenda's head around as I tried to pull her away. No serious injuries, of course, Filo just wanted to establish that she was the boss. Unfortunately, Filo lost her advantage last month when Splenda finally woke up out of her trance and charged Filo who totally wasn't expecting it. Since then, Filo is eager to retaliate, only we haven't let her get that close to Splenda. After all, don't want any dog to get hurt.

Animosity between Splenda and Filo extends to Splenda's dog mom and me (and G. He implies that its all in my head--whatever). First, Splenda is never on a leash, so she's free to pursue Filo as we're trying to restrain her. Second, I never see Splenda's dog mom with a plastic bag to pick up poo-poo. I sincerely doubt that Splenda manages to contain her poo-poo to right in front of her apartment. Third, Splenda's dog mom acts like she has no idea who we are although we've met (through dogs, but still) many times. Actually, now that I think of it, Splenda and her dog mom act very similar: both stare at you ("Why is that little white dog going after Splenda? Who are those people with the little dog? What's going on across the street?)

Back to yesterday's encounter: Sorry if I built up the tension, but nothing happened. It was a stand-off. We picked up Filo before anything could happen. Splenda's dog mom, of course, was nowhere to be seen.

The Splenda-Filo rivalry goes on. Right now, Filo is asleep on my bed (with her head on the pillow). I just know that her puppy dreams include running in the dog park, being fed carrot sticks, having her tummy rubbed, and kicking Splenda's skinny butt.